Hold Me
by StandingOnTheRooftops
Summary: If we can't find a way out of these problems, then maybe we don't need this." 2x5x2 Romance/angst/hurt-comfort/sap/lemony-lime stuff/songfic. AU. Wufei and Duo have had a fight... but can they work through it?


_**Hold Me**_

* * *

"If we can't finda way out of these problems, then maybe we don't need this." 2x5x2 angst/romance/songfic.

Set in the 'Waking Up In Vegas' universe, but can be read as a stand alone fic. Set after 'Debate' but before 'Vegas'. A fight tears Wufei and Duo apart... but can they find their way back together?

Warnings: Sap, Angst, Romance, Fluff, mention of attempted suicide, Lemon, yaoi (duh!), and over-protective twin sisters.

* * *

Wufei closed his eyes as the video kept playing. His kids enjoyed the breaks from tedious regular class work, but Wufei found it hard to concentrate. As the second to last day of the semester, with final exams being over before winter break, the kids had little to do in class. As always, Wufei gave the kids a list of movies and then vote on two of them. One for the first day... another for the next day.

Wufei closed his eyes. It was just his luck they'd chosen 'Twister'. To be fair, all of Wufei's movies held some modicum of intelligence or relevance. But of course they would choose Twister for the first day. Tomorrow would be little better, as they'd picked 'Dante's Peak'. Of course.

The movie they'd supposed to have been watching the first time he'd gotten Duo to move beyond kissing and occasional gropings.

And the movie that they'd spent five hours arguing over during a 'movie night' get together with Trowa, Delana, and Cathy.

How come everything was bent on reminding him of Duo? Of what they'd lost?

"If that's the way you feel," Duo'd said. Beautiful cobalt eyes sad, glittering with un-shed tears. There had been no more yelling after that. No more words. Duo'd simply left. Left his things, left all the mementos of their life together. All the pictures... everything.

Of course Wufei knew exactly where Duo was at. Duo'd gone less than ten minutes drive down the road, to his parents house. But it might as well have been Asia or Africa, for all the good it did. Wufei had gone a grand total of once back to the Maxwell ranch... and had been rebuffed at the door by a violet-eyed, chestnut haired beauty. No, not Duo.

Almost as much as Duo's cold indifference now... was Delana's glaring anger. Cecilia's indecision- the mother's instinct to protect her son versus the woman's intuition to leave well enough alone and let them deal with their own decisions. Howard's grunting silence as opposed to his usual boisterous self. Hilde's sighing resignation. She loved Wufei... but Duo was her brother. There could be no test of that allegiance. And little Nessa's confusion. Still a tad too young to understand all that was going on between her brother and her brother's lover.

Correction.

Former lover.

Their falling out had been two months ago. And nothing had ever hurt so much. But maybe it was for the best. Really, if they couldn't work through one argument, then what right did they have to try to make a relationship last.

Their relationship was always... interesting. Duo was bright and loud and social and happy... and still inherintly shy underneath it all. Duo was kind and sweet, but hard as steel. Duo hid behind emotions and twisted the truth without ever lying; he wore his heart on his sleeve. He'd twist everything on you until you never knew who the real Duo was or which parts were a mask.

Duo refused to take any medication the doctor's prescribed for whatever ADD or bipolar disorders they said he had. And somehow... his family never pressured him. Duo wasn't a danger to anyone. Duo was simply Duo and they'd never make him take anything that would change him.

Wufei wouldn't either. He loved Duo. Loved Duo more than anything he'd ever loved in his life.

But it didn't change the fact that they were two completely different people. Every time they turned around they were hurting each other. Until they had no choice and despite their relationship growing deeper and stronger... a part of it grew weaker and brittle as well.

And two months ago... that brittle part had shattered into a million shards.

Things, Wufei had to admit as he listened in to the movie with one ear and tried to grade the papers before him, had been going downhill for a while. Hell, they'd broken up at least three times since they'd gotten together at the university. Okay... three times was an understatement. But the actual words had only been said three times. There was always something coming between them.

By far... until now... the worst had been when Wufei's family had sent for him, wanting him to return to China and into an arranged marriage. Wufei had... and he could admit it with shame... entertained the idea of going through with it. Family meant everything to him. His family had shunned him and shipped him off to America with his best friend, Lien.

With Lien dead, and life getting more and more complicated, his family had looked like the perfect escape. Going back to his family, marrying a woman. He'd have his family, he'd had Lien's child- Meilan. There'd be no contest, and the only thing he'd be giving up would be....

Duo.

Wufei had thought he could do it.

But Duo had proved him wrong.

Duo had tried to commit suicide.

That more than anything had made Wufei realize and face the truth. He loved Duo. And Duo loved him... enough to refuse to live without him. Together with Duo's family, they'd pieced back together their fragile, shattered relationship. And they were all stronger for that.

But the truth still remained. They might love each other. They might fit together perfectly in bed... but they were different. Maybe *too* different.

The lights flooding on startled him. He looked up to see Bill and Jo engaged in a soaked lip-lock on the screen and Molly Johnson standing at the wall, hand over the light switch.

She smiled. "Y'look sorta out of it, today, Mr. C. She motioned to the stack of papers. "How many of those did you actually grade? Six? In over two hours?"

Wufei sighed, running a hand over his face as the tenth grader sashayed closer to the desk. Molly was a sweet girl. Not with the popular crowd, but not an outcast. Not overweight, but not skinny. She was on the Volleyball team, and the debate team, and their scholar's bowl.

"I take it you and your boyfriend broke up?" She asked.

Wufei cut his eyes up at her. He'd never inferred his sexuality. He didn't exactly hide it. Well, at least not outside of school. The principle knew about Duo, but no one else.

Molly laughed at the expression on his face.

"Hm. So I was right. Y'know, you keep that picture of him in the drawer. I saw when you asked me to get the staple gun to set up the collage. He was pretty sweet looking. Killer eyes," she said, sitting on top of the closest desk to Wufei's. "And just between us... I'm not too big on the whole guy thing, so I'll keep your secret if you keep mine."

Wufei sighed.

"So if y'don't mind me askin', why'd you break up with a catch like that? You love each other right?" The picture of Duo had been in a silver engraved frame, Wufei reminded himself.

Wufei sighed again. Relationship advice from a sixteen year old? How low would he sink?

"He asked me to marry him," Wufei said.

Molly's eyes opened wide. "Wow. So... I'm taking it you didn't say 'yes, I will'?"

Wufei cut his eyes to the petite red-head. "No. I didn't say yes. I told him I wasn't ready; that I didn't want too. We argued... he left. The end."

Molly closed her eyes, a soft, sad kind of smile playing over her lips. "I'm sorry," she said. "So... Mr. C. Why didn't you want to get married? Looks like you're pretty head over heals for Mr. Violet-eyes."

"Duo," Wufei int erupted. "His name's Duo."

She smiled. "Unusual name."

"Unusual family," Wufei muttered. "And I am... I love him more than life itself."

"Sounds like you two just need to talk," Molly said, hopping down from her perch. She snatched a slim purple CD player from her back pack, popping the CD out and slipping it into a jeweled case. She laid the CD down on Wufei's desk, slinging her pack over her shoulder.

"I'd try out track two, if I were you," she said softly, then she was gone and the school bell was ringing again and more kids were filing into the room.

Wufei spared the blue CD one last glance before rising to conduct his duties.

* * *

Duo was tired. He was tired of all of this. Of the hovering, of the never having a moment's peace. That's why he was in Chenney's in the first place. With Delana and Cathy and Trowa.

For the past two months, he'd never been by himself for more than five minutes at a stretch. Hell... Delana had even taken to sleeping in his bed... not just in the same room... but in the *same* bed. Which was overkill, he thought. But, he admitted, he couldn't really blame them. The first time Duo had complained about the molly coddling and hovering... which had been the fourth night Delana's slept with him.... Delana had calmly informed him that she was *not* risking sitting in a hospital for forty-eight hours wondering if he was going to live or not.

Duo had promptly snapped his mouth shut... and hadn't uttered a word about it since. *That* time was something no one ever mentioned. Surely none of them had forgotten... especially not Delana who'd been the one to find Duo in the bathroom, an empty bottle of OxyCodone in the sink.

Duo felt guilty for putting his family through that... but the pain of thinking Wufei didn't love him had shattered his world. He'd been young and brash... and heartbroken. And he had only his sister and his father to thank for him actually being alive now. Had Delana not came into the room when she did, or had his father actually *remembered* to refill his prescription on time, then Duo would probably not have made it.

Duo blinked back into the real world for a moment. His sister and Cathy were laughing, sipping at their drinks. It was getting late and they'd slowed down on their drinks, with Trowa sipping water as the designated driver. They'd just finished a karaoke performance of "Does he love you?" They'd actually been pretty good, with Cathy pulling off the wife's part quite well- if rather safe and bland, while Delana tried... and *sometimes* succeeded... in hitting the high notes of the mistress's part.

"Oh! Trowa!!!!" His sister snatched his best friend's arm. "Come on! We have to do a duet, too!"

Duo knocked back another shot of Jack as he watched his friend.

"Oh, no. I'm not drunk, remember?" Trowa shot back to the girl. She was Duo's exact copy, from head to toe. Tonight, she'd even taken it to heart. She'd left her long chestnut hair in a braid... exactly like his. She wore jeans that mirrored his, and even copied his black button down shirt, only hers had silver trimmings and fringes where his was more sedate with black on black. She grabbed Trowa and yanked him out of the seat, whispering into his ear as she drug him towards the stage.

Duo watched, amused and curious as to what Delana had said to get Trowa to agree to walk up on the karaoke stage. Duo knew Trowa had a rather pleasant singing voice, but Trowa was the very epitome of shy. It had to be damn good for Delana to get Trowa up in front of an entire bar.

The music cued up... and Duo had to laugh. Yeah. If there was anything that could entice Trowa up on the stage... it would have to be a Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow song.

Now... all he wanted to do was go home. But he could stay long enough to humor his family... to let them think he wasn't hurting quite as bad as he was. He caught Cathy's look at him.

Yeah. No fooling them.

* * *

A long drive from Nashville, Wufei stared at the CD in his hand. Savage Garden was what the title proclaimed. He'd heard a song or two by them. Duo's twin *adored* the band. With a sigh, Wufei popped it into the player and scanned it to track two before settling down with his papers around him on the couch.

But when the lyrics started pouring forth... Wufei found he couldn't concentrate on his work. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to fight for sanity. The song ended and another began... but Wufei paid no attention to the music drifting around him as the CD played on and on and on and on. No. They didn't matter. Only the words that had burned themselves into his mind.

_//Hey-ya. If we can't find a way out of these problems_

_Then maybe we don't need this._

_Standing face to face_

_Enemies at war we build defenses_

_And secret hiding places...//_

He bowed his head down on his crossed arms, dragging his feet up underneath him as the tears fell out. Duo was his life. He *missed* Duo. Sobs began to wrack his body as he thought... thought about the one he loved. Why couldn't they find a way out of this problem? They'd fought their way back from the brink of oblivion so many times. Why did this have to be any different? Why did this one subject have to bring them down?

_//I might need you to hold me tonight_

_I might need you to say it's alright_

_I might need you to make the first stand..._

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man.//_

Once upon a time, Wufei was always the one to make the first move. Any fight they had, Wufei was the first to give, the first to cave in. Always doing whatever it took to make it through the night. From the very first day they'd met... Wufei had always been the first to fold. They were both stubborn to a 't'. But Wufei had always been the one with a head on his shoulders.

That's not to say that Duo was unintelligent. Far from it. That had been the first thing that attracted Wufei to the braided southerner. His mind. It was sharp as splintered glass... and just as multi-faceted.

And Wufei had always been the one to give. But not now. He wanted to. He wanted so desperately to go crawling to the Maxwell home, begging forgiveness for a crime he wasn't sure he'd even committed. But no. It wasn't pride, or stubbornness, that kept him from doing just that.

It was love. And the fear that maybe love wasn't strong enough. Maybe love just wasn't enough.

_//Hey-ya. More than angry words I hate this silence..._

_It's getting so loud._

_Well I want to scream..._

_But bitterness has silenced these emotions._

_It's getting hard to breathe//_

Duo leaned his head against the cool, hard, smooth plane of the window. Cathy and Delana were talking, Trowa was humming along with some song on the radio... but Duo couldn't find it in himself to speak or join in.

He and Wufei had always argued. Their relationship was practically built on it. But they'd always traded their angry words, then came back to kiss and make up. In a few hours. Or a few days. Maybe a week if it was really harsh. But they'd always came back.

But he hated this. There were no more words- no more angry or harsh or otherwise. No more words... just an empty silence that spoke as much as it concealed. Sometimes Duo thought about going back. Pretending it never happened. Going on about their lives. Forgetting he'd ever even mentioned anything.

But no. If Wufei couldn't listen to him... then there could be no relationship. Bitterness would set in before long. It had already been hard to breathe in that house.

_//So tell me isn't happiness _

_worth more than a gold and diamond ring?//_

Wufei sat, the sobs moving in waves through his body. When was the last time he'd truely cried? When he'd seen Duo lying sheet white in that hospital. And knowing that it was all his fault. That was the last time. And it had been the first time since he was eight. Since he and Lien had come to America.

And all of this over a stupid circle. A dumb piece of metal and a rock.

But... that's all it really was, right? A ring. Gold, diamonds. Would it really matter? Why couldn't he have just said 'yeah, okay'? Why did a piece of metal have so much power over the lives of men?

What was sucking up his pride and caving in to Duo yet again really worth when compared against his happiness? Duo's happiness?

Because he wouldn't really be happy, he thought morosely. He'd like nothing better than to spend the rest of his nights in Duo's arms. The rest of his mornings looking into those blue-violet eyes. And the rest of his life hand in hand with him. But he could never be happy if they couldn't talk about these things. If they couldn't work through them instead of stepping around them.

_//I'm willing to do anything to call the storm in my heart._

_I've never been the praying kind,_

_But lately I've been down upon my knees_

_I'm not looking for a miracle.._

_Just a reason to believe.//_

Duo glared out into the moonless night. The trees were drifting by, blurring into nothingness. And then he saw it. A light. A single light in the dark of night.

Shining through the trees... it was his porch light. His and Wufei's. Why would Wufei leave the porch light on so late at night? It was a school night. And it was well past midnight. Even if he had a dozen papers to grade, Wufei would never stay up so late into the night.

Maybe.... was the light for him? Duo closed his eyes, counted to five, and blinked them open again. The light was still on. It was beckoning to him, calling him like a moth to a flame. the light was for him. Wufei never turned the porch light off if Duo wasn't home. If he was away on business, at his family's... Wufei never turned it off.

And now, he still didn't turn it off?

Duo clutched the silver cross around his neck. The gift from Wufei... back on their first year anniversary of being together. Duo'd laughed at him then. Duo certainly wasn't religious by an stretch, but he'd always had faith. He'd prayed these past few nights. Begging the good Lord for a sign. He wasn't expecting a miracle. Just a reason to keep the faith... just a reason to believe.

And here it was.

"STOP!!!" he cried. Trowa's foot stomped on the break in surprise, but before the jeep had ever come to a halt, Duo was struggling out of his seat belt.

"Duo?!!?! Duo!?!" Delana called as the door was thrown open and Duo stumbled out into the night, still fifty yards away from the house he'd designed... the home they'd built together.

Duo looked over his shoulder, and the bare silhouette of his sister.

"I found a reason to beleive," he called back to her... then took off running.

Running for home.

_//I might need you to hold me tonight_

_I might need you to say it's alright_

_I might need you to make the first stand..._

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man.//_

Wufei's head jerked up at the sound of the front door slamming open. What the... He was on his feet in an instant... but completely unprepared for the wild eyed Duo that stood in the doorway to the living room.

"Duo?" He questioned, not believing his eyes. Surely he was asleep. He'd fallen asleep on the couch and was dreaming. That was the only explanation.

"Wufei," Duo sighed, taking in the fresh tear tracks down his lover's cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes. Just how long had the beautiful Chinese man been sitting there, crying.

"I love you," Duo said with conviction. "I don't care about anything else. I just... I want you to love me."

"I do," Wufei replied. "I've always loved you."

Duo blinked away the tears that wanted to fall and suddenly... Wufei was in his arms. Wufei was holding him, he was holding Wufei... did it even matter which it was? Did either one of them have to give in? Why not both? Why not neither?

Lips met in a frenzied rush born of desperation and deprivation. For once, there was no words... yet no silence. Their gasps filled the air as bodies came together, fingers intertwined. Moans were offered up to the still night as lovers once parted reunited. And the music played on... forgotten.

Wufei stumbled backwards, dragging Duo with him to the couch. He tumbled, pulling his chestnut haired lover down on top of him. Duo's lips parted from Wufei's, only to attatch to the sweet, salty skin of his jaw, his neck. It was bittersweet, tasting faintly of the tears shed. Wufei's hands pulled the band from Duo's braid, freeing the silky strands to fall all around them. Usually, both men preferred for the hair to stay bound and out of the way, but Wufei felt the overwhelming desire to see, to feel all of his lover. Onyx met violet before lips once more detoured, tasting, devouring the skin it found.

Clothes became lost, tossed to the night. Familar skin was re-discovered. Once treasured sounds were offered up again, becoming precious once more.

"Duo...." The name was but a sigh in the night as Duo came home, for the second time that night. The first, to his house. And now, to Wufei. Wufei arched as the pain laced itself into the pleasure, each becoming indistinguishable from the other. Weeks alone, no preparation, and little gentleness made the pain come. Reunion, love, passion made the pleasure soar.

And when the wave crested over them both, they cried each other's names into the silent house. Their home.

"I love you," Duo whispered into the night, lips against Wufei's throat.

"And I, you," was the soft reply as each man fell asleep, a true sleep for the first time in weeks.

_//Do you remember not long ago_

_when we used to live for the nightime?_

_Cherish each moment._

_Now we don't live we exist._

_We just run through our lives _

_so alone.//_

Sometimes Duo wanted to curse his genius. The wall of floor to ceiling windows in his livingroom was beautiful. The way it brought the outside world in, seamlessly blended it with the interior was almost magical.

And the sun had the most annyoing habit of shining in to wake you were you foolish enough to fall asleep on the couch.

The first pale rays of dawn threw themselves into the living room, dancing across Duo's skin, awakening him with their play of lights behind his lids.

"Wufei," he breathed, knowing exactly where he was. What had happened.

"Duo," Wufei returned. "It's not a dream, right? You're here? You're back?"

Duo shifted, sitting up, knees on either side of Wufei's torso. "I'm here," he said.

"Duo... I... I just want to say..."

"No, don't," Duo stopped him, a finger against the bruised lips. "Listen to me. I don't care. It doesn't matter. If you don't want to get married, that's fine. I just... I just want *you*. I've been really stupid, 'Fei. I couldn't see I already had what I wanted. And... I hope I still have it?" the last part was a question, violet eyes beseeching onyx ones for an answer.

"You've always had me," Wufei replied. "But Duo... I want to marry you. I've been thinking. I want to marry you. But before we say 'I do'... I want to talk. I didn't want to get married because I was scared, Duo. Scared... I... that's what my parents wanted. They wanted me to get married. Your idea of marriage and my idea are pretty different. Just like the rest of us. I just want to talk first, Duo."

Duo smiled, and leaned down to capture Wufei's lips in a gentle, tender kiss. "That sounds about perfect, 'Fei. Are you going to play hookie from work today? Or should I let you up to get dressed?"

"I really, really want to stay," Wufei admitted, kissing Duo back. "But there's something I really need to do. Someone I need to thank."

Duo smiled again, matching the sun for brightness and beauty. He tilted his head. "Would it have anything to do with the music on the radio?"

Wufei listened in as the singer crooned on about 'if you need to crash, then crash and burn you're not alone.' He chuckled. "Yeah. I need to return that CD. Think your sister will let me borrow her copy?"

Duo laughed. "She's such a Savage Garden fan, isn't she? And yeah, she will. If not, I'll just steal it."

"Good. Cause I really really think I like this band."

Duo stood up, dragging his lover up after him for another lip-lock.

It was good go be home.

_//That's why you've got to hold me.//_


End file.
